Reflecting on Sarah Everard and 2021 International Women’s Week

By Julie Ngalle

2020 was draining, painful and traumatic. We witnessed and lived through some deeply upsetting events. But, what 2020 brought was time. Time to educate ourselves, time to reflect, time to heal and hopefully time to change. The first three months of 2021 have proven just how little of that we all did.

8th of March: International Women’s Day. We honour, celebrate all women around the world and reaffirm our rights and battles. One day devoted to us. We are happy we feel empowered and more committed than ever to abolishing the patriarchy.

The next day, brought back to the realities of being women. Meghan Markle finds the courage to admit being depressed and suicidal during her years within the royal family. She is dismissed, insulted and questioned.

Sarah Everard goes missing and is found dead, her killer presumably a police officer. Women then start speaking up about their fears and experiences with sexual harassment. they are mocked, insulted and again, dismissed.

I’ve remained quieter than usual (I know some of you will laugh reading this, I said than usual) about these headlines as honestly — I’ve become speechless. The past week has been one of these moments where I have just wanted to drop everything: my degree, journalism, my podcast, EVERYTHING as I felt there was no point. Mentalities won’t change. Men don’t care. Women don’t care. Nobody cares. I’m done fighting for rights I just will simply never have, with people who will do anything to hold onto whatever privilege they have instead of using it to help those with less.

Let’s start with the UNstatistic that 97% of women in the UK have experienced sexual harassment. The fact that some find that shocking says a lot. Personally, I did not, as, I cannot remember a time where I was not anxious and scared when walking alone in the street at night but, also, because I am a part of that 97%.

Now, my story may not be very traumatic to many and is far from the dark and twisted stereotypes we hold when thinking about sexual harassment. But it just means that, like 97% of the women in the UK, when I heard that story I thought to myself “this could have been me”.

We had two options when these statistics made headlines immediately question the victims; are they exaggerating? Are they lying? Are they oversensitive? Are they craving attention? Or, you could be appalled by the fact that men’s behaviour and the inherently sexist nature of our society has led so many women to feel uncomfortable, threatened and in 97% of cases actually being victims of men’s inability to behave. I was disappointed, but not surprised one bit, by what conclusion a vast proportion of people decide to make of this statistics.

Now there was a third category of people, the ones who remained silent. The lack of reaction from the men around me was disappointing. Especially the ones I am close to. Men who know what women go through on a daily basis because they are surrounded by women who remind them every day but still choose to say nothing, both publicly and privately.

The lack of reaction from the women around me was disappointing too, maybe even more. Although I am tired of seeing a majority of women fighting for our rights, there is something comforting in having that support. In this case, many also chose silence, both publicly and privately. It seems our activism stops when we don’t feel concerned about an issue. So it takes as little as borders, skin colours, media coverage or trendiness for us all to not feel concerned or impacted by an issue.

Now not wanting to be public about these things I can completely understand, but staying completely silent, brushing it off, that I struggle with a bit more. But, let’s give people the benefit of the doubt, maybe people are remaining silent but still educating themselves and making the changes in their lives. And, yes let’s acknowledge it, life is not easy, especially right now, so people may not have had the time to look into why the current discussions are so important and why remaining silent is problematic. Although I love to point fingers, let’s try and stay diplomatic.

Now onto the issue that many raised about police brutality. As a woman of colour, there is really something deeply upsetting in seeing so many wake up to the issue of police brutality today — when white women are the target. Especially when we all sat through 2020 as the black community cried for their rights, denounced the police and begged for change and accountability. When you see a large number of people starting to recognise police brutality and demanding a change in the system only now despite how this institution has treated people of colour for decades, you feel ignored, you feel worthless and you feel silenced. Of course, we are not trying to stir the attention away from Sarah Everard’s case and we will all mourn her forever, but the fact that it took white women being manhandled by the police for an entire part of the nation to wake up when it comes to police brutality and inequality does not send a message of hope to any non-white person out there.

Finally, to all of those that think we are overreacting, who joke about sexual assault, who refuse to call out their friends for their actions, I truly hope you or the people you love never has to go through what Sarah Everard and all the other victims went through. And I hope you never have to go through what their families are currently going through. And think about it again. 97% of women. That means your mothers, your sisters, your friends, girlfriends, cousins, wives, daughters, granddaughters are also very likely to have to endure or have endured sexual harassment because you refuse to change. Yes, a lot of us don’t feel unsafe every second of every day, and none of us thinks that all men are bad and/ or criminals, but all of us have read a news headline similar to Sarah Everard’s and thought “that could have been me, that could one day be me.”