Why Feminists Are Annoying — Testimonies From Women Who Don’t Hate Men But Hate The Patriarchy

Source: iStock

A Female-Led Conversation About Feminism, Sexism and the Importance of Evolution

This article was written in January 2020 and republished to Medium.

For privacy purposes, all statements, experiences and quotes will stay anonymous throughout this article. This article also contains content about sexual assault that some viewers may find upsetting.

“There is not one day when I am not clearly reminded I am inferior”, “it’s tiring, it’s really tiring.” These are quotes from a voice note I received from one of my best friends a couple of months ago. She was crying over the phone because a man had been masturbating on her in the metro. That day marked the third time this happened to her in the last year.

“This was the first time I realised [sexual assault] was real. And I don’t believe that no one saw. Because it was a packed train. And the fact that it happened in front of my eyes, that no one did anything, and even I didn’t do anything, I didn’t even move seats. I was just thinking: “I just need to get through this.” I didn’t want to raise attention and now I think like HOW the F*CK is it me who should be ashamed, me, a 12-year-old.” Another testimony from a friend reflecting on her experience being masturbated on in the train when she was 12 years old.

“Comments yelled about my looks are not a compliment — these are unsolicited remarks, patronising, and make me want to throw my running shoes at the man feeling ballsy enough to say them. There is so much knowledge, humour and personality that makes me. Yet, somehow none of this is important, and women can still be seen as pieces of meat.”

“It is important to make men aware.”

I am a feminist. I believe in gender equality so much that I have decided (amongst others) to devote my career to this cause. I love being a woman, I love and look up to women so much, and feel empowered by so many, whether in my private circle or just in general. I also love men. For one, I am heterosexual and, wow, I find men so incredibly attractive and beautiful. But also, so many of my favourite people are men. Most of my friends are men and I always found myself more comfortable around boys than I did around girls. The men in my family are some of the most amazing human beings I have ever met. And again, I feel humbled, inspired and encouraged by so many men around the world. I find however that in many people’s minds, me being a strong feminist and a very driven, independent woman on the one hand and me loving men and wanting nothing but their happiness on the other can’t possibly go together. Many consider feminism to be a war on men. Many therefore consider feminists to be annoying, obnoxious, even dangerous sometimes. And as it is so clear what feminism is about in my mind, I wonder: why is this movement bothering so many people? But also, why is it a cause that is so close to my heart, filling me with as intense and uncontrollable joy and pride as it does sadness and anger? These are the questions I will try and answer today, and I won’t be doing this alone. I have gathered testimonies from 18 girls and women: friends, family, mothers, daughters, business women, students, heterosexual and queer. And throughout a conversation about our experiences as women, feminism and what it means to us, our relationship with men and much more, today we attempt to explain: WHY it is, that feminists are (considered) annoying.

I am appalled when I look at society today, and see the place women still hold. Don’t get me wrong, things have gotten much better in certain areas, and you will see that is something that is acknowledged by all of us throughout the article, but, we are still so far from gender equality. Today, I will give my best shot at trying to explain why that is. This is something that is so central to my life, not only because I try to fight for this cause but also simply because I am a woman and have therefore experienced gender inequality first-hand.

Before anything, I want to start by defining feminism, or at least, my definition of it, and the definitions that came out of the 18 testimonies I have gathered. “Feminism isn’t a belief or an opinion, it is simply the equality between the sexes”, “the whole ‘we should all be feminists’ mantra isn’t a motto but rather just a fact”, “I think that today, everyone should be a feminist, because being a feminist is a simple notion: it is being in favour of equality between men and women, and there is nothing complicated or annoying about this concept”, “equality is not a lot to ask for”, “[feminism] shouldn’t be a word, everyone should be a feminist”, “who shouldn’t be paid the same money for the same job? It’s obvious, it just makes sense. Feminism is an obvious and normal concept and ideology.”

So feminism is really and simply about equality. Today, I think the proportion of the population that at least claims to be in favour of equality is higher than it has ever been in the history of mankind. But, so many roll their eyes when they hear the word “feminist”, when a girl makes a comment about any aspect of a conversation, action or society that she notices is quite sexist. Again, why? Well, I think one of the main problems with the feminist cause is the misinformation. Too many are just unaware of what women are fighting for, and the fact that today, being a feminist is actually quite normal. We need to educate ourselves on what feminism and gender equality are. Why would one not want equality between everyone? And, in all honesty, in my opinion, people who still think a skin colour, gender, sexual preference or any aspect of one’s identity should justify not having the same rights and opportunities, prove they are suffering from an extreme inferiority complex and fear rather than thirst for power and entitlement. The thing with feminism is it is possibly everything but a war on men. “[Feminism] talks about toxic masculinity, about liberating everyone, it is pure and supports good causes. Feminism isn’t just for women.” Today, I believe we all suffer from the patriarchal system we have built. All genders (and that includes more than two). The “role” of a woman, the “role” of a man. This is a concept that came back so much in the conversations I had for this article. The frustration, the struggle to identify with and the many mental breakdowns over what we feel a woman is, what society pictures the “ideal” woman to be like and trying to pull out the good and the bad from each definition as we try to define what kind of woman we want to be. And I am sure the same applies to men. Toxic masculinity: be strong, don’t cry, support your family, be successful, find a wife, but also enjoy the bachelor life. We live in a society where it is impossible not to struggle to find our identity simply because we need to be so many things, and so many that contradict each other.

But having said this, I will personally argue, coming back to the fact that feminism is now more and more considered to be a “war on men” (I hope you HEAR my eyeroll as you read this) that, feminism is yes, mostly, about women. “Men have to be included in the final destruction and solution, but not right now. They are not as legitimate and should learn to shut up a bit more, even if it’s difficult. But they will have their say in this battle, just give us time and give us a chance to speak out first.” It’s not about trying to be better, it’s about seeking equality. Our goal for the vast majority is not to oppress men, not to diminish their rights, but to liberate ourselves. If they have access to all these privileges, why not us? We should all have the same rights, and because we know what this oppression feels like, we know better than to impose it on others. Still don’t believe me? Well, one of the questions I asked all women interrogated was the following: do you think men are the problem and what do you think of men? Almost all of us agreed that it was really not about pointing fingers as amongst other things it was argued that “men are necessary to the feminist cause” and “no, people are the problem. It doesn’t have anything to do with gender. It is about people being stuck in old ways and beliefs.” Others argued “people are individuals, some men are cool, some men are funny, some men are assholes, no different to women in that sense”, “I think men are great when they are what I think of well educated, respectful, intelligent, caring, thoughtful, always ready to communicate peacefully, able to show perspective and open-mindedness. This however is simply what I think of people in general” and “ I don’t believe men are the problem. I feel that is too simplistic, perhaps how many of them are educated and how the system privileges them incites their behaviour. […]In fact, I would go so far as to say that I know many men that are far more progressive and ‘feminist’ in their thinking than some of their female counterparts.” Not only do none of us believe that men are the problem, we are also all willing to put our hands up and admit that women, feminist or not, also contribute to the sexist nature of our societies massively.

“I wouldn’t say men are the problem, it’s the way men have been raised. It’s the traditions, and education and it just gets passed on” argued one person, and “I don’t think individual men are the problem, I think structures are” said another. Sexism is a concept rooted in every single one of us but also our institutions, professional structures and even family life. It is something that needs to be deconstructed piece by piece and it is indeed as someone said above, too simplistic but also just incorrect to just blame men. However, other arguments that I agree with arose, explaining that, although it is true we ALL “have been miseducated when it comes to gender equality”, “men shouldn’t evade blame completely, given that they do benefit from and participate in sustaining a sexist culture.” One statement even went as far as to say “ Of course they are [to blame]. They created sexism and women abuse in the first place.” And it is true, that although they aren’t the only ones to blame, many men make limited efforts to actually try and change the patriarchal functioning of our society. Even those who consider themselves advocates for the cause often do not actually participate in the feminist movement, as the structure of society is one that benefits them currently. Now, whether this is done consciously or not is a separate issue, but men, even though they are not the problem per se, still need to wake up, smell the coffee and actually start doing things for our cause.

Now why is that? Why do we need them to really get involved as well? Why is it so close to our hearts? Again, many quotes answered this question better than I would have. “We need to reintegrate women into society. Put them at the place they deserve, because right know we don’t have the place we should have on so many levels.” “We need to educate men [and women].” “If you give girls the same education as boys, and by same I mean same opportunities from start to end, you will be able to achieve a world where women and men have equal education opportunities, career opportunities, equal success.” “Young girls need to be taught their value from a young age, [because it is so damaging for them to grow up in a world where they are constantly reminded they are inferior, and this without any real justification as to why that is.]” “The most important thing is to make feminism intersectional. Feminism that is not intersectional is exclusionary and can contribute to the oppression of certain communities. It may be a bit of basic answer, but I think that all feminist causes can benefit from being approached from an intersectional perspective and all feminist solutions should be taken with intersectionality in mind. My life as a straight, white, abled, middle-class woman is not the default; it is not the universal experience and therefore should not be treated as such.” “We need to be uplifting women, their confidence (in class, what they want to do, how they express themselves). [There is] such a bias in our gender, stop in self expression: it’s okay, you can ask for sex, you can do this job, you can do what you want, you don’t have to constantly doubt yourself.” Inclusion, celebration, equal chances, choice. This is what we are passionate about. We want equal access to education, to higher positions, equal political representation. Freedom to have sex with who we want, where we want, with however many sexual partners, at the same time or not. Freedom to be the sole decision makers for our lives and future. All of us, the lucky ones whom I interviewed who all have the ability of studying what we want where they want, who will all get to choose who they marry and what they become, but also and especially the ones who do not even have that chance. For all these reasons, I can assure you, the feminist cause is not about oppressing men. It’s simply about regaining power and making our everyday lives and opportunities easier.

Trying to breakdown all the stereotypes, misinformation was something I found essential to the article. Education is lacking on feminism and gender equality, for both men and women. But it is beautiful, peaceful and liberating cause, about love, equality and freedom. And now that I have hopefully made this a little bit clearer, I can now get into how much the patriarchy still prevails everywhere, and the impact it has on us.

“[What I hate most about the patriarchy is this] stupid solidarity between those males who try to redistribute things and power between themselves. They are in their comfort zone all the time and they don’t like being outside their comfort zone. Women, we are never in our comfort zone.”

To me, the biggest problem with society today is our relationship towards sex, especially female sexuality and what a vagina is actually here for. Many still apparently believe that our vaginas are here to satisfy male pleasure and pop kids out every couple of years. That’s why female masturbation is something we are made to feel ashamed of for years, that’s why most people (women as well) do not even know how female orgasms work and that is why most importantly, sexual crimes remain one of society’s biggest issues internationally. And sex is a topic that came back in ALL testimonies I gathered. When I say sex, this is a tiny proportion of the topics it encompasses: sexual assault and rape, slut-shaming, victim blaming, rape culture, female genital mutilation, human trafficking, abortion debates, catcalling and street harassment etc. Today, the sexualisation of women is one of the things all women around the world, no matter where, suffer from most. On the one hand, female pleasure and the female body are completely dismissed. We are reproductive objects, and sexual objects for men, our pleasure doesn’t count but we should spread our legs for any man that needs to satisfy his needs. On the oher, we are made to feel ashamed about sex, so many men claim to prefer a woman that has not had too many partners and as we have to satisfy the model of the “ideal and pure wife” we continue to be slut shamed over any little action daily. In a country like France, catcalling and street harassment are daily occurrences. In Cameroon, the norm is for girls to have their breasts ironed to look less ladylike and not be forced into child marriage. As one of the women said above, “women can still be seen as pieces of meat.” Of course, one may think that, compared to child marriage or rape, most catcalling and slut-shaming are not that bad, and that we may be quite lucky compared to those who suffer from more serious trauma. But let me ask you: do you think some of us are actually exempt from some sort of sexual trauma? Well, let me give you some numbers. I interviewed 19 women. With my experience which I am of course including in this article, that makes 20. Out of the 20, all of them mentioned how sex and/or abuse (whatever the topic was) was one of the biggest issues today. Nine of us I can confirm have been sexually assaulted in the past in some shape or form (it can go from being groped without our consent, to much darker and more explicit “rape in a dark alley” stereotypes). I won’t go into detail about all these events, as for one they are not my story to tell and they are also not the point of the article. All of us have admitted to being catcalled or been victims of street harassment. The argument of security, feeling in genuine danger in the streets at night, being too afraid to talk back or oppose to a man’s demands or inappropriate behaviour came back in 11 testimonies. We grow increasingly frustrated and angry after every uncalled for comment we get in the street and yet, none of us are able to talk back as, at least for me, I will happily admit I am simply scared of getting hit, pushed or assaulted in one way or another if I do. Again, the point here is not to accuse anyone or play the victim but just to show you the extent of the problem. I will also share that I have spent most of my teenage years, and now still do today, trying to prepare for the trauma of being raped. I am very aware that this is unfortunately something I might have to go through in my life, and that the odds are quite high. Some of you might think this is a very sinister way to look at life but after many conversations with friends and family, exchanged testimonies over the years and simply reading the news everyday, I, like most women, understand that this is a tough reality for a high proportion of women (men as well of course). Rape and sexual assault are not rare, and they’re often not committed by a stranger In the United States for example, it has been reported by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) that 45% rapes and sexual assaults were committed by someone the victim knew. Most rapes happen in a bed, and are committed by family members, boyfriends, Tinder dates, best friends, and this is something a few of us have unfortunately experienced.

Another testimony mentioned that “women are sexualised so early on.” She personally shared how her body started changing pretty early during her teen years and how she immediately started receiving inappropriate looks and comments from way older men in the street. This same person also had experiences with a stalkerish and voyeurist neighbour who even went as far as to follow her home a couple of times. And when she shared all this with her family, they told her to “be proud, you look like a woman.”

“The other day, I was using a public restroom and squatting to not touch the toilet seat that looked disgusting. I had the worst thought. I just thought to myself, ‘God I hope I have a little boy when I do have kids, his life will be so much easier.’ I thought this over something as stupid as squatting to go to the loo when they simply have to stand and pee. I just feel like I was born a woman and now I have to stick with it.” Again, this might seem like an overreaction. This comes from someone that has been spat at when she refused to give a man her number, that is insulted or catcalled everytime she walks her dog, that has been masturbated on multiple times in public transport and has had men follow her home too many times.

Another major issue with being a woman today is the identity crises (sound familiar?). Again, this is taking example from women in Western societies as these are the women I interviewed. Right now, I have a little over a year left at university. After that, I want to get in the working world and then do a masters degree a little bit later. I also want kids fairly early as well though. I have wanted to be a mother since I was about 14. I am also single, but fully ready to meet someone, as I love the feeling of being in love and prefer being in a relationship than single, as I am not a fan of dating or one night stands. You may not see the point of me sharing all this or the link to this piece, well let me explain. All these things in my head cause an unbelievable amount of confusion and anxiety. I want to settle down but I also want to travel the world and experience as much as I can with my career. I want kids soon but also want to start my own business. I feel ready for a long-term relationship but am also terrified of having to juggle this with my need for renewal and excitement in my professional life. The biggest dilemma and existential crisis in my life is the family life vs professional life debate. And I am not the only one. “ [It seems impossible to] combine the “female ideal” of family life and [a] career. My mom is a stay at home mother and I always used to say that I don’t want to be like my mother whatever happens. […] For so long, I used to think I didn’t want kids because I want a career and I am very ambitious and did not want to have to sacrifice that.” “It is tough sometimes, I’m 20 years old and I’m already trying to figure out where I want to settle with my kids and husband.” Finding out what it is that you want is hard. Many argue that not having a career is the anti-feminist thing to do, but then people constantly remind you how important it is to have children and always asked if you “finally have a boyfriend.” Finding balance and trying to understand what you want is tiring and very oppressing. And when we do make up our minds, it doesn’t get easier. “Reaching a stage [in my career] where I am going to be in very high position, males are reluctant to answer and be managed by me. And above me [they don’t] like to have a woman in such a high position. They do not have enough self confidence and can therefore not stand when a woman has a lot. They instantly feel threatened which is what led the glass ceiling to appear in the first place. So you cannot start to jeopardise their career. The older, more competent and more driven you get, the more difficult it becomes to face men and evolve above them.” So when we finally get over ourselves and realise that being a stay at home mom is not anti-feminist, but that we can also pursue a career, we enter the male-dominated professional world of the gender pay gap and glass ceiling. Equal pay is what the majority of women interrogated argued was one of the most pressing issues in the fight for gender equality. One person shared that her own father, a father of three girls, actually believed women should not be paid the same as men. His argument to justify this was: we are not able to do as much. But, if we did not have to deal with as much outside of work, we could be as productive. If parenthood and house management were equally divided in couples, men and women would be able to do the same amount of work. And again, this is also an issue that men face: why are men not able to take as much parental leave as women? Because we assume that it is us who need to stay home. Single business-women with no kids are frowned upon, so are stay at home fathers. Why can’t’ we just all do what the hell we want?

The same can be argued for the opposite situation. Two women in particular raised a very interesting point. One was telling me that as a psychology student, she realised how undermined postpartum depression is. None of us, male or female, mental and physical health workers are trained and know enough about pregnancy. Considering this is the only way mankind can survive, I find this absolutely appalling, especially if we do decide to devote our lives to ur kids, and are then left with no support. The same can be applied to periods and contraception, which links back to the first point about female seuxality. I throw up, faint but most commonly am simply unable to move from my bed when I am on my period. And yet, no solution has been found to make it easier, and periods are still one of society’s biggest taboos. Another person also testified how she had health issues and had to get operations “down there” as she said herself. It took her years to even get a diagnosis on what was going on with her vagina and why she needed all the operations done. And even today, she remains unsure on how to take good care of it. I mean, I probably know how to take better care of a penis than vagina, and for a long time was aware and able to make a man orgasm quicker than myself. That is just not normal. And this just shows how all issues feed and link to one another.

One may think, I, and we, are overreacting, but it is when you are faced with these issues everyday, when there is always something in your private, professional or sexual life that reminds you, you are considered inferior, that even the slightest things start becoming a huge deal.

Having said all this, there is one last point I wanted to make before concluding on this article. 20 of us shared our opinions. 20 of us shared what we hated about the patriarchy, what frustrated us about being women, what we thought was wrong with society. And yes, we did complain, called out and got riled up about a number of issues. But all of us acknowledged one thing: we are very lucky. “[I have the] privilege of being white, heterosexual, raised catholic in a fairly well-off household which I realise.” “I don’t think I can claim to have any idea about life being hard because of being a woman. Yes there are things that I find frustrating because I’m a woman.[…] But this is not life altering for me, I can brush these things off and give it back as good as I get. So I think the hardest thing about being a woman for me is knowing that there are people in the world where life is really hard and is completely altered because they are a female. Knowing that in some countries women aren’t allowed to work or are forced into marriage and into a life in which they are controlled by their husbands.” “I don’t have any big testimony to make, I’ve been very lucky.” Everybody interviewed mentioned this at some point or another: we are lucky. We come from economically AND socially advanced countries. We all come from middle to upper-middle social classes. We were all free to choose what we want to become and how we want to get there. One person even told me: “occasionally some builders may wolf whistle me, and whilst I do appreciate that this may be extremely uncomfortable for girls, I am just a laid back person in that respect where I will turn round, wink at the builders and move on with life.” So I do realise that some of these issues are not the actual end of the world. I myself, am a mixed-race woman, and it has yes sometimes come with some hardships, but I realise I am so incredibly lucky to have been raised in a open-minded loving family, where money was never a problem, where I was free and supported. As one of the women said: “ I don’t have any poignant testimonies that could attest to the difficulty of being a woman, and I consider myself incredibly lucky for that, because I know it’s rarely ever the case.” And this is so true. In most countries, sadly, women do not benefit from a tenth of what we have. This is also why we fight the feminist cause. Because we are tired of being catcalled and struggling to access higher positions, but also because we are tired of seeing little girls forced into marriage, women killed by their abusive husbands, girls and women not being able to work, drive, study. We fight the fight for ourselves, but for all of us. And this article is an opportunity to share my point of view, as well as the 19 other points of view, but also to raise awareness about all the women who can’t do it for themselves.

Unfortunately, we are not taken seriously. When a woman is assaulted, people ask her what she was wearing. When a woman gets a promotion, people assume she slept with someone to get the job. When girls don’t have a lot of sex, they are losers, when they do, they are sluts. There is simply no winning. If we speak out, we are crazy and hysterical. If we don’t, we are weak and shouldn’t be complaining. Again, there is no winning. We are constantly undermined, silenced and this just because we are women. Breasts are being ironed, clitorises are being sowed, women are being beat up and killed all around the world. And everyone has failed to explain to us why this is, why we are treated like this. Because whether it is the everyday oppression we face in the West or the outright violation of human rights in less developed countries, there is no justification for women being treated the way they are today. One of the women confessed that as a little girl she was very frustrated because she kept being told she couldn’t do this or that simply because she was a girl. Today, I couldn’t explain it either even if I tried. But somehow, we are expected to roll with it. Having read all these testimonies, do you still think we’re overreacting and hysterical? If you do, let’s get into the last question of this article: why are feminists considered annoying?

“One of the things I find difficult is handling the frustration I feel towards a system that will take a long time to change.” I have been working on this article for over three months now. Reading the testimonies, reading the news, thinking about my experience, I can not tell you how many times I deleted it all and gave up. I went out with friends one day, two boys, one girl and myself and the conversation ended up being us two women trying to explain to the men what we did, why the jobs we got were legitimate and the things we were proud of. It all started with a stupid game of truth or dare. To the question “what is your biggest accomplishment?” My friend answered it was the fact she got her dream job in her dream company. Pretty big accomplishment if you ask me. I had two, one, my work with Incite, whether it is everything we have put out as a team or my individual articles, and the fact that I was able to get better after going through a period of being depressed and suicidal. Now, the boys who we had the conversation with are amazing, but the only thing they did in response to that was dismiss our accomplishments. On the one hand, the job my friend got was not that great, this guy was aiming for higher companies. On the other, what I am doing is not “real journalism.” We were also dismissed for going to the gym, being told it was cute but we didn’t actually “gym” like they, real men do. After this conversation, I was so furious and almost gave up, thinking “mentalities will never change.”

For one, I don’t think all feminists are annoying because feminism is a broad term. We all choose to fight the battle in different ways. Even “feminazis” who people have conveniently started associating the whole feminist movement, whether we agree with them or not, have their beliefs, and they can do what they want. I think people today think feminists are annoying because they look at the extremes. They look at the female supremacists. This is something all of us mentioned. It’s easy to associate an entire movement to the extreme few in an attempt to discredit the whole thought process and cause. That is what humans have done forever. That is why some people continue to associate Muslims with terrorists, Yellow vests with vandalizers, feminists with hysterical female supremacists.

But the reality is, “any group fighting for change is always considered a nuisance by those who want to maintain the status quo.” Because most of us know that “trying to impose women as being superior defeats the point of trying to achieve equality.” “We are at the beginning of the destruction of a system rooted in all of us, it upsets people, it requires us to readapt what we think which is why we are incapable of reaching a level of maximum inclusion.” For one, humans are creatures of habit who hate change. Explaining to people who have lived their entire lives in a certain way that we want to change everything and start from scratch is never going to be well received. Also, lots of people (men in this case) benefit the system so of course, so why would they want it to change? And because we do, we are annoying. It is easier to discredit us, mock us and continue to ignore the feminist arguments rather than rethink everything we have been taught. It’s not easy for us either to be fair. I used to ask for a fake cleaning trolley, a cash register and a mini kitchen every year for Christmas. I never got most of them, and today I think of those toys and am outraged that they are even presented to little girls. I have found myself falling in the traps of slut shaming and judging a loud girl who “must be craving male attention” until I realised I myself was super loud and obnoxious and that is not because I wanted all boys to look at me but simply because I come from a big family where you have to shout to be heard. But feminists, men and women alike, are making that effort, deconstructing our thoughts, questioning our beliefs and trying to make the world better, despite having contributed to the oppression women in the past.

Finally,as I said before, we go out in the morning and get catcalled all day, get to an office where we are refused certain advantages and positions because we are women. Then, we come home to watch the news and watch the number of femicides increase, see reported cases of FGMs and the statistics of girls under 14 who are forced into marriage to men four times their age. After that, we go to bed and have unsatisfactory sex with a man who has no idea where anything is, and this is a rapport we did not even want to have in the first place, so yes we become annoyed, and therefore annoying. We’ve been silenced for so long that now that we are finally getting a chance to speak out, we are making a lot of noise. Sexist thinking is something we all need to distance ourselves from. Men and women. “Clearly, not all men are rapists or murderers. Not all men are sexist, and yes, women can be offenders of all these issues too.” But, statistics show all the issues stated above are primarily female orientated. Feminism is a necessity, because at best gender inequality can be a life-long nuisance, but it can also be destructive and sometimes deadly. This is why we are annoying, and this is why we will continue to be.

Special thanks to Emilie Arson, Bethsabee Bonici, Maeve Brennan, Celeste Caillol, Maelle Cazalis, Camille Chaillet, Louise D’Armagnac, Alice Delahaye, Laura Finch, Anouk Gochard, Alexandra Gosmand, Sian Griffiths, Tabitha Jeavons, Chloe Meley, Claire Ngalle, Georgie Puchowski, Eloise Thevenet, Oriane Wiser, Veronique Wiser and for taking the time to share their experience and opinions on these topics and helping me put this piece together.

This article was written in 2020 and reuploaded to Medium.